Getting the Picture: Part 2

Getting the Picture: Part 2
by Martell

When we last left off, I was heading out the door, on my way to my third drug store of the day, all in an effort to print two digital photos—and I was NOT in a good mood. This one was another Rite Aid, about a mile and a half away, in the general direction of the Sav-on I went to earlier.

Traffic was getting worse, it was getting late, and this Rite Aid wasn't in the best part of town. I could tell the second I pulled into the parking lot that they weren't going to have digital picture machine, but since I was there already, I went in anyway. I was right. Fantastic. I love fighting traffic to get someplace that I don't need to be, only to have to fight traffic again to get back home.

Since time was running out, and I didn't know where any more drug stores were, I decided to stop by Sav-on again. This was largely inspired by the fact that Rite Aid #1 had the exact same machine as this Sav-on had, but Rite Aid's also had 4 x 6 capabilities. When I walked in, I decided to look for something like a “29¢ photos” sign. Aha! Off in the corner was another machine! Indeed, this was the correct machine for 4 x 6 photos. I quickly popped in the memory card and started selecting my prints. By this time, I had decided to print a few extras, in case my wife wanted some options. This simple machine didn't have the centering and cropping functions of the nice Kodak machine, but I wouldn't have to by a $10 package just to get two 4 x 6s.

I filled out the envelope, dropped it off with the attendant, and she even said she could print them while I waited. What a glorious day this had turned into! Ten minutes later, I was out the door. As I turned onto my street, my wife was just parking her car. What perfect timing! I parked, helped my wife with her things, and we headed into the house to look at the photos.

My wife was pleased with the prints, choosing two that we would send out tomorrow. Of course, the first thing I noticed was that about an inch of her head was cut off in each picture. Remembering how much work I had done on the first Kodak machine, centering and cropping, I knew what these pictures were supposed to look like. I couldn't send these photos out.

----------

The next day, I was finishing up a short video that was to be sent along with these two photos. During the early afternoon, my wife called me from work. She had remembered that she wanted to send along a full-body shot—which I had conveniently failed to print the day before. Also, she wanted to make sure everything would be sent out today, as it had to be in New York in two days. The video editing was taking forever, and it wasn't until about 2:30 in the afternoon that I headed out the door, video in hand. All I had to do was print two more picture s...

I headed west, past Sav-on and their cheap-ass machine. As I drove down Pico, I remembered there was a Rexall Drugs in Beverly Hills, which was more or less on my way. I was fairly certain they would have digital printing capabilities. I turned right on La Cienega.

By “more or less on my way,” I mean it was only a couple of miles off Pico. Of course, I failed to account for two things: 1) it was the middle of December, and 2) Rexall Drugs was directly across the street from the only mall in Beverly Hills. Two miles and thirty minutes later, I made it into the parking lot. My frustration from the day before had now resurfaced, combining with the insane traffic and a growing time crunch to form a toxic dose of road rage.

I storm inside and look for the photo section. Of course, there are no signs anywhere, but somehow I find it without any casualties. I start reading the instructions. Being Beverly Hills, not only do they process digital photos, but the machine automatically prints them out for you! Why didn't I come here in the first place?!? It takes me a few minutes to learn how to use the machine, then a few more minutes to get both pictures adequately cropped and centered. I think everything is ready, hit the “Process” button, and...and up comes an “Error” message. It says the machine is out of paper. I look up at the attendant and motion to her, she asks me if I have a problem, and I tell her that the machine is 0ut of paper. She replies, “Oh, we've never had paper for the automatic printer. You'll have to leave your order and pick it up tomorrow.” I mention that I only have two photos to print, and that I need them right away—is there any way she could print them for me while I wait? Her answer: “No, I have a really big order I have to process today. Sorry.”

Now, it's not that she was in the middle of processing this order. In fact, she didn't appear to be doing anything at all, just standing around. But evidently, sometime later that afternoon she was going to have a lot of work to do, so she needed to conserve her freaking energy. I was now seething. I gave her a few seconds of my best death stare, but alas, she did not burst into flames. If I was going to try and print any more photos at drug stores, that was definitely a skill I was going to need to work on.

So not only am I now a little ball of hate, but I'm even more up against the clock, as it's now about 3:30pm. I don't know what the deadline for Fed Ex is, but it's got to be coming up. While I speed toward my wife's office, I give her a call and ask her to find a place to print photos. She remembers an independent photo shop on the way to the Fed Ex place. I slowly crawl west.

I finally make it to her office shortly before 4:00pm. She comes down and jumps into the car. Five minutes later, we're at some random photo shop. There are two fellows there, and zero customers. Perfect. We ask if they print digital photos, one guy says “Sure,” we ask if he can do it now, he replies “It'll cost a little extra,” we say that would be fine, and we're off. I head back into the office with him and start searching through the 180 or so files on our memory card for the first photo. We find the full-body shot and start printing.

I haven't decided yet which photo printer we are going to buy, but it's not the one this guy had. First off, this thing printed just slightly slower than an old fax machine. Second, with each pass, it only printed one color. So I'm standing there, watching this paper go back and forth, and then back, and then forth again. And then back and forth. And then back and forth some more. Did I mention we were trying to ship this thing out today? After about the eighth pass, I made my best decision of the past 24 hours: I decided we were only going to print one photo. If my wife was satisfied with the flattop head shot, then that was fine by me. We got our photo and headed up front to pay.

It never occurred to me before exactly how subjective the word “little” could be. As in, this photo will “cost a little extra.” The fellow up front rung us up and told us the total. Ten dollars and fifty cents. This single 4 x 6 photo was going to cost ten dollars and fifty cents. One photo. One freaking photo. I'm not sure what the regular rate was, but this HAD to be more than “a little extra.” I now knew—drug stores, photo shops, it didn't matter—there was a grand conspiracy to slowly drive me out of my mind. I actually contemplated laying into the guy, unleashing all of the pent up anger and frustration that had been building over the last day, but before I could, my wife was handing the man his money and we were out the door.

An adventure? I guess. A chore that should have taken me one hour or less and cost under 75¢ stretched out into a $15, 24-hour marathon of stop-and-go traffic and poor customer service. If there is any justice in the world, Santa Claus will leave a nice and shiny photo printer under the tree for me. Of course, I'll probably just end up with some gift certificates to Rite Aid.

----------

Epilogue: We went to the Fed Ex store to ship off the pictures and the video. The Fed Ex store was located in a Kinko's. Did I mention that Kinko's has digital photo printing?

Martell can be reached at martell@babblog.com