Until Easter, Hollywood will be releasing a series of cinematic
“lemons” to a local multiplex near you. Studios do this
because they feel people might not want to get out their
snowplows to see such “duds” as White Noise.
Therefore, Tinseltown unloads its “bombs” during the winter
months. (Lemon Dud Bombs—now there’s a new idea
for a tasty movie concession snack!) There are exceptions
to this rule, however, and I will be reviewing films of
interest in the upcoming months. In the meantime,
since regular readers know I have a predilection for trashy
horror films, here's a review of a little-seen vintage gem:
Innocent
Blood:
When John Landis’ horror-comedy opened in 1992, it died
a bloody death at the box office, coming and going out of
theatres in about a week’s time. The reason for its
failure could be pinned to a variety of reasons: an
unappealing ad campaign, bad
release date (early fall rather than Halloween), or even
the film’s rather innocuous title. Whatever the reasons,
however, fright film fans missed out on one of the most
enjoyable horror-comedies in many a moon. While it
doesn’t reach the levels of Landis’ 1981 classic American
Werewolf in London, it contains enough guilty pleasures
to warrant a viewing on DVD, preferably while downing a
six pack or smoking a joint.
Basically,
Innocent Blood deals with Marie (Annie Parillaud,
of La Femme Nikita fame), a beautiful vampire with
a conscience. She doesn’t want to feast on innocent
victims, so instead she sets her fangs on Pittsburgh mobsters!
Structurally
and thematically, Innocent Blood is something of
a mess. It can’t decide whether to be a horror movie,
a serious gangster film or an outright spoof of both genres.
At times it’s somewhat incomprehensible; also, one is a
bit foggy about how to kill a vampire in this film.
Departing from previous vampire lore, a bullet in the head
seems to be the preferred method, but sunlight and fire
can also do them in. The script never clearly states
how to destroy a vampire. Also, the main gist of the
plot—crime boss Micelli, now a vampire, wants to convert
the rest of his gang into bloodsuckers, thus having an invincible
crime empire—comes very late in the film and is never
satisfactorily
developed.
Yet,
despite a myriad of flaws, Innocent Blood is a
helluva lot of fun, containing outrageous black humor and
brilliantly executed scenes of horror. The film also
gives the opportunity to see two future Oscar nominees in
small roles: Angela Bassett (What’s Love Got To
Do with It) and Chazz Palminteri (Bullets Over
Broadway). In fact, the film’s first death sequence
occurs when the sexy Marie picks up a gangster played by
Palminteri. With incredibly rapid speed, Marie rips
out the hood’s jugular vein, and then, to
insure he is not revived as a vampire, blows off his head
with a shotgun. This scene packs a great jolt and
is brilliantly timed and edited.
Another
scene with this kind of impact is the sequence where undercover
cop Gennero (Anthony LaPaglia, star of TV’s Without
a Trace), who’s been infiltrating the mob, is frightened
out of his wits on a rooftop as Marie leaps onto a building.
These sequences show that Landis has the rare and brilliant
talent to create scenes that can scare the crap out of an
audience. It’s a pity that he’s wasted so much of
his career directing inane comedies. Perhaps one day
he’ll be afforded the opportunity direct a serious horror
film. Judging from his past efforts in the genre,
it would definitely be something worth catching.
What
qualifies Innocent Blood as a “guilty pleasure”
masterpiece are the copious amounts of blood, nudity and
profanity the film contains. The film really pushes
the envelope in the sequence where Gennero has sex with
the vampire in a cheap motel. How many films have
you seen where a handcuffed vampire breaks out of her shackles
during sexual ecstasy? Or whose eyes glow various
luminous colors during orgasm? You have to give screenwriter
Michael Volk credit—his script may be uneven at times,
but it’s certainly not short on originality. This
is one dude with a brilliantly twisted imagination.
For
male voyeurs out there, there’s the sight of the beautiful
Ms. Parillaud frequently romping around in the buff.
She looks totally at ease and comfortable in this state,
which certainly complements her fine, wickedly sexy performance.
For female voyeurs out there, there’s the sight of Anthony
LaPaglia exposing his tush to the camera. LaPaglia
is just right as as the undercover cop, and brings a suitable
intensity to the role.
As
good as Parillaud and LaPaglia are, however, the picture
is stolen out under them by the terrific performances of
Robert Loggia and Don Rickles as, respectively, crime boss
Micelli and his underworld attorney. Loggia
is simply marvelous as a bombastic, bloodsucking hood.
His is a towering, pull-out-all-the-stops performance which
mightily contributes to the uproarious black comedy sequences
the film contains. Matching him is Rickles as Micelli’s
attorney Bergman. The insult comedian gives a wonderful
performance, his sense of befuddlement at his client’s worsening
state of vampirism generating many bellylaughs. There’s
a hysterical scene where Rickles chastises Loggia for trying
to kill Gennero in front of his immaculate surburban home.
“Don’t murder a cop on my lawn!,” Bergman plaintively whines.
This is a marvelous comic moment and the film is filled
with scenes like this. To divulge any more of these
scenes would spoil the fun. Innocent Blood
is wonderful trash and if you have an appetite for this
sort of fare, I urge you to rent it.—***
See
ya soon.
Steve
can be reached at steve@babblog.com. |
