Things
that I've learned from watching The Isaac Mizrahi Show:
•
When assessing the shape of an outfit,
squint; this blurs the lines.
• If you are designing tutus for multiple
ballerinas, cut the tutus to different widths.
• Moby has finished his promiscuous stage.
• Lt. Van Buren likes hoop earrings.
• A petticoat can be cute beachwear, especially
when worn by a famous model.
• Five important fashion accessories: the right bag, the
right shoes (can't go wrong
with mules), a ring (buy it yourself
if no one will buy it for you), damn, I should
have paid better attention.
• On the whole, Broadway singers are good at singing.
• I'm just a girl who can't say no.
• If you draw a nude man, a simple shaded squiggle will do.
• Mikhail Baryshnikov is not as large as
he appeared in Sex and the City; he has
precise feet.
• Many people are fabulous.
• Bowling balls are soooo matte
these days.
• Henry Winkler seems like a really nice guy.
• If you make a living as an actor with a ridiculous,
gaudy mustache, your clothes
should be unobtrusive.
• Jerry Orbach can sing and Mandy Moore has large feet.
• The colors on our screen must be off; those shades of
peach just can't go together.
• You can't make a fool of yourself if you are enthusiastic
enough about your
passion (this is not true).
• You can get away with putting the collar up on your
polo shirt if you are a famous
fashion designer, even
if part of the collar has flapped down. For that matter, you
can get away with wearing a polo shirt if you are
a famous fashion designer.
• If you aren't sitting in a corner or center square,
the contestants don't choose you
very often.
• I don't ever want to be in the same room as Tammy Faye.
• Naomi Judd isn't nearly as bad. She's rather charming.
• Ingrid Bergman's dress in Indiscreet
was an awkward length. In general, it is a
shame that she was not
more uncovered, but particularly in Dr. Jekyll and
Mr.
Hyde (I can confirm
points #1 and #2, but not #3).
• I'm glad that the tights of male ballerinas are not
considered business casual.
They make me uneasy.
• Even more people are fabulous.
• The guy who starred in Boomtown
has a good swing; Mizri, not as much so. His
dribbling skills: very gay.
• I like to call him Mizri Mizrahan; that is the way I
do things. My wife, at first, did
not understand.
• Horseradish ice cream should not be made.
• In the raw food movement, the hamburgers taste like the desserts.
• Martin Scorsesee...
• Chris Noth as in Both has impressive eyebrows, even
in the afternoon; they don't
scare me like M. Scorsesee's do.
• C. Noth isn't afraid to look bad on TV.
• I've now seen Andy Dick on every talk
show. Well, actually, not The View.
Mr.
Lewis can be reached at jeff@babblog.com.
Copyright
Jeff Lewis, 2004 |
