Who Are the Most Spoiled Sports Fans

Who Are the Most Spoiled Fans?
by Jeff Lewis

In March, the Golden State Warriors had their first winning month in over a decade; a month later, the San Francisco 49ers celebrated their futility by drafting QB Alex Smith. The A’s and Giants got off to rocky starts and the San Jose Sharks had their season washed out by the NHL lockout. Even the most myopic fan can see that the Bay Area sports scene is a far cry from its heyday in 1989 when the Warriors made the playoffs, the 49ers won the Super Bowl and the A’s and Giants met with the Loma Prieta earthquake in the World Series. Down south things aren’t much better, where the Dodgers are trying to keep LA from experiencing its worst year in the city’s professional sports history, but will need to make their playoff run without Eric Gagne and J.D. Drew (of course, the Angels are likely going to the playoffs, which may appease some LA fans).

While Bostonians get to gloat over the Patriots' dynasty and the end of The Curse, there are championship droughts all over America, like in both Washingtons, Kansas City and Cleveland. This got me thinking: who are the most spoiled fans in American sports? To figure this out, I concocted a fairly unscientific formula so that I could place a numerical value on a city’s spoiledness. Here’s how I did it:

I analyzed the result, by metropolis, for the major professional sporting events between 1980 and 2005. Each NBA, NHL, MLB and NFL championship netted a city eleven points apiece. I gave three points to each runner up, on the theory that it is somewhat rewarding to have your favorite team reach the finals. (Whether or not it is exactly 3.67 times less rewarding is open to debate. I did not do any field research when developing this 11:3 ratio.)

Because the Grey Cup doesn’t buy you a Stanley Cup’s worth of happiness, I gave Canadian cities seven points for their Canadian Football League Championships and two points for the Grey Cup runners-up, which actually is pretty close to the current US/Canadian exchange rate.

Cities that lost a franchise were deducted eleven points (less if the city later got a replacement). Also, I subtracted one point for each year that a city failed to win a major championship. In the case of several cities, this plunged them into negative figures.

I had to draw the line somewhere, so I cut off this study at 1980. Additionally, I chose to ignore the MLS, the WNBA, arena football and other minor sports because, quite frankly, they stir very few souls. The successes of the Chicago Fire or Chicago Rush don’t make up for the nearly 140 years of the White Sox and Cubs’ combined futility. On the other hand, NCAA championships can be compelling, but are hard to quantify because of regional rivalries. For instance, I didn’t want to try to figure out the percentage of Trojan and Bruin fans in Los Angeles, assuming that UCLA supporters were not happy that USC won the NCAA football title.

A few additional notes: Teams that cater to multi-city markets—such as the Yankees and Braves—show up multiple times in this exercise. However, for the purpose of deducting points for championship droughts, I only counted hometown teams (for example, Buffalo didn’t get “credit” for the last Yankees’ title; I subtracted 25 points because the city is without a champion in the past quarter century). I also didn't factor in CFL championships into the drought deductions.

Most Spoiled Sports Fans, 1980-2005

1. Long Island and NY Homers in the Five Boroughs

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Yankees	4	3	53
Islanders	4	1	47
Giants	2	1	25
Knicks	0	2	6
		Drought:	-5
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	126

The Yankees’ decade-long run is the key source of satisfaction, but the Islanders’ dominance in the early eighties is still on the books. The Giants haven’t won since 1991, but at least that’s better than the Jets, whose primary purpose, apparently, is to teach New Yorkers humility. The Knicks made the NBA Finals in 1999, but Isaiah is doing his best to ensure that doesn’t happen again.

2. Los Angeles

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Dodgers	2	0	22
Kings	0	1	3
Rams/Raiders	1	1	14
Lakers/Clippers	8	5	103
		Drought:	-3
		Lost Teams:	-18
		Total:	121

It’s good to be a Laker fan – even when they falter, you can go to sleep knowing that somewhere out there is a LeBron James waiting to become a free agent and don the purple and gold.
Would be #1 if the city hadn’t lost two football teams, although I only deducted seven points for the Raiders. Most Angelinos aren’t too sad about the Raider Nation leaving town.

3. New Jersey

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Yankees	4	3	53
Devil	3	1	36
Giants	2	1	25
Nets	0	2	6
		Drought:	-2
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	118

New Jersey fans have had a lot to cheer about in recent years, but they soon may lose their Nets to the Bronx and possibly one of their inaccurately named football teams to Manhattan. Come to think of it, the NHL may never be the same, so the Devils are no sure bet for the future, either.

4. Orange County

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Angels	1	0	11
Mighty Ducks	0	1	3
Rams	0	1	3
Lakers	8	5	103
		Drought:	-2
		Lost Teams:	-11
		Total:	107

If anyone in Orange County was foolish enough to take in games during the eighties at the Clip Joint instead of the Fabulous Forum, he’d be in negative territory here, but I don’t think anyone other than Fred Savage truly likes only the Clippers. I should have lopped off some points for the Angels’ self-serving name change, but since Orange County doesn’t seem to care too much, I won’t either.

5. Boston

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Red Sox	1	1	14
Bruins	0	2	6
Patriots	3	2	39
Celtics	3	2	39
		Drought:	0
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	98

Boston is riding high—they even got to pretend that the Bruins won the Stanley Cup when Ray Borque won with the Colorado Avalanche a few years back.

6. Edmonton

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Oilers	5	1	58
Eskimos	6	4	50
		Drought:	-15
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	93

This entry points to a possible weakness in this study, namely, how to quantify the satisfaction of a Grey Cup victory. Do winning touchdown passes to the corner of the extra deep CFL end zone make up for the loss of the Great One, Messier, Coffey, CuJo and all the other great Oilers?

7. Detroit

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Tigers	1	0	11
Red Wings	3	1	36
Lions	0	0	0
Pistons	3	2	39
		Drought:	-1
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	85

The Lions have nearly a Cubs-like record for futility, but at least for now Detroit can revel in the Pistons, sprinklers of sunshine and joy.

8. Chicago

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Cubs/Sox	0	0	0
Blackhawks	0	1	3
Bears	1	0	11
Bulls	6	0	66
		Drought:	-6
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	74

Jerry Kraus prematurely dismantled the Jordan Era, but the Bulls’ titles were so memorable that they can compensate for a tough 20th century in football and baseball. The same could be said for the ’86 Bears.

9. San Antonio

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Rangers	0	0	0
Cowboys	3	0	33
Spurs	3	0	33
		Drought:	0
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	66

San Antonio fans have little to complain about, plus they have a river walk! By the way, I’m working under the assumption that the people of San Antonio do not care deeply about the NHL.

10. San Francisco

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Giants	0	2	6
Sharks	0	0	0
49ers	5	0	55
Warriors	0	0	0
		Drought:	-10
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	51

When Dusty Baker gave Russ Ortiz the game ball in the bottom of the 7th in Game 6 of the 2002 World Series, I was watching in England in the middle of the night, ruining my vacation. “Let’s go to sleep, the Giants have won,” my wife said. To someone who grew up in LA, it perhaps appeared that the Giants were a cinch to win their first World Series in San Francisco, but I knew they hadn’t won yet because the Giants don’t win championships—that’s the 49ers’ domain, something that won’t happen again in San Francisco for a long while. At least the Bay Area has the upcoming Warriors Dynasty to look forward to.

11. Toronto

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Blue Jays	2	0	22
Maple Leafs	0	0	0
Argonauts	5	2	39
Raptors	0	0	0
		Drought:	-11
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	50

The Blue Jays’ and Argonauts’ titles are great and all (even if the CFL only has nine teams), but in the home of the Hockey Hall of Fame, one thing matters most: the Maple Leafs on the Stanley Cup. I personally hope they never make it, but I don’t have anything against Toronto, only poorly pluralized nicknames.

12. Denver (tie)

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Rockies	0	0	0
Avalanche	2	0	22
Broncos	2	3	31
Nuggets	0	0	0
		Drought:	-4
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	49

With their mile-high home field advantage, it’s a mystery why the Nuggets can’t put a championship team together, but in the last ten years, there’s been little else to complain about sports-wise. Even the suffering Rockies fans can pretend that they have a team full of good hitters.

12. Buffalo (tie)

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Yankees	4	3	53
Sabres	0	1	3
Bills	0	4	12
Knicks	0	2	6
		Drought:	-25
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	49

Oh, the Bills! Thank you for making it easier for sports fans everywhere to recover from the disappointment of a championship game loss.

14. Pittsburgh

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Pirates	0	0	0
Penguins	2	0	22
Steelers	1	1	14
76ers	1	3	20
		Drought:	-13
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	43

Was a sports powerhouse in the 70s. Now only the Steelers are above average, although Pittsburgh fans can get a little satisfaction from the 76ers, if they are so inclined.

15. Dallas

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Rangers	0	0	0
Stars	1	1	14
Cowboys	3	0	11
Mavericks	0	0	0
		Drought:	-6
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	41

They stole Minnesota’s hockey team and were rewarded with a championship. It’s been a while since America’s Team was great, but they can be consoled by the fact that they have their own America’s Team in the White House.

16. Washington

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Nationals/O's	1	0	11
Capitols	0	1	3
Redskins	3	1	36
Wizards	0	0	0
		Drought:	-13
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	37

Fourteen years and counting since the city won anything; now the Nationals are teasing DC with competence. Hard to believe, by the way, that the town that was PC enough to change the Bullets' nickname from the Bullets to the Wizards still tolerates the Redskins.

17. Philadelphia

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Phillies	1	2	17
Flyers	0	4	12
Eagles	0	2	6
Sixers	1	3	20
		Drought:	-22
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	33

In the shadow of New York and Boston’s success, it’s got to be tough to feel content. At least they don’t have to watch the Pirates and Penguins.

18. Miami

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Marlins	2	0	22
Dolphins	0	2	6
Panthers	0	0	0
Heat	0	0	0
		Drought:	-1
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	27

Maybe next year Shaq can get the bitter taste of the Marlins’ two World Series victories out of everyone’s mouth.

19. St. Louis

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Cardinals	1	3	20
Blues	0	0	0
Rams	1	1	14
		Drought:	-5
		Lost Teams:	-3
		Total:	26

St. Louis sports fans always look so happy. Perhaps it’s because they traded the NFL Cardinals for the Rams.

20. Calgary

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Flames	1	2	17
Stampeders	3	3	27
		Drought:	-16
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	28

The Flames’ loss to the Tampa Bay Lightning in the 2004 Stanley Cup shows that life isn’t fair. The Stanley Cup has no business being in the state of Florida, plus, with the lockout, the Lightning get it for a bonus year.

21. Tampa Bay

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Devil Rays	0	0	0
Lightning	1	0	11
Buccaneers	1	0	11
Heat	0	0	0
		Drought:	-1
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	21

With luck, Tropicana Field will be the last fully domed baseball stadium. Until they get rid of that, though, Tampa Bay doesn’t deserve any more titles.

22. Atlanta (tie)

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Braves	1	4	23
Hurricanes	0	1	3
Falcons	0	1	3
Hawks	0	0	0
		Drought:	-9
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	20

Fifteen straight division titles for the Braves haven’t gotten Atlanta much to celebrate. Maybe if they stop doing the degrading Tomahawk Chop, their playoff results might improve.

22. Unlucky New York Fans (tie)

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Mets	1	1	14
Rangers	1	0	11
Jets	0	0	0
Knicks	0	2	6
		Drought:	-11
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	20

If family tradition made you an “’ets” fan, you’ve had little to celebrate since 1969.

22. Oakland (tie)

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Athletics	1	2	17
Sharks	0	0	0
Raiders	2	1	25
Warriors	0	0	0
		Drought:	-15
		Lost Teams:	-7
		Total:	20

The Raider Nation is easy to please—they’re happy as long as they have "Calvin peeing on the 49ers logo” stickers on their black SUVs. I'm giving them credit for two Super Bowl victories here, even though one came when the Raiders were in LA.

25. Carolina

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Braves	1	4	23
Hurricanes	0	1	3
Panthers	0	1	3
Hornets/Bobcats	0	0	0
		Drought:	-9
		Lost Teams:	-3
		Total:	17

At least they have Duke or the Tar Heels to root for. Incidentally, I only deducted three points for the Hornets' move to New Orleans, since there's very little difference between the Hornets and the Bobcats.

26. Baltimore

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Orioles	1	0	11
Capitols	0	1	3
Colts/Stallions/Ravens	2	1	20
Wizards	0	0	0
		Drought:	-4
		Lost Teams:	-16
		Total:	14

I bet you forgot that Baltimore was a Canadian Football League powerhouse during Canada’s failed, covert invasion of the US (also referred to in history books as “CFL expansion”). They beat Calgary 37-20 to win the Grey Cup in 1995, after losing to the BC Lions in the previous year's Grey Cup final.

27. Montreal

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Expos	0	0	0
Canadiens	2	1	25
Aleuts	1	2	11
		Drought:	-12
		Lost Teams:	-11
		Total:	13

In the last year, they lost the Expos, the NHL season and Gagne.

28. Houston

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Astros	0	0	0
Oilers/Texans	0	0	0
Rockets	2	2	26
		Drought:	-9
		Lost Teams:	-7
		Total:	12

Squelching humidity and years of playoff futility, saved only by Hakeem Olajuwon and a few clutch shots from Robert Horry and Kenny Smith.

29. Phoenix

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Diamondbacks	1	0	11
Coyotes	0	0	0
Cardinals	0	0	0
Suns	0	1	3
		Drought:	-3
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	11

I’ll always be bitter that the D-Backs bought a title, while having to be bailed out of financial straits by the rest of MLB.

30. Minnesota

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Twins	2	0	22
North Stars/Wild	0	2	6
Vikings	0	0	0
Timberwolves	0	0	0
		Drought:	-13
		Lost Teams:	-7
		Total:	8

The Wild are arguably the worst named team in pro sports, although there are a lot of MLS teams that give it a run for its money.

31. Milwaukee/Green Bay

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Brewers	0	0	0
Packers	1	1	14
Bucks	0	0	0
		Drought:	-8
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	6

Only one title in 25 years makes Titletown a misnomer, and now California is muscling in on the cheese market.

32. Cincinnati

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Reds	1	0	11
Bengals	0	2	6
Cavs	0	0	0
		Drought:	-14
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	3

Last Reds title was fifteen years ago; none on the horizon.

33. British Columbia

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Mariners	0	0	0
Canucks	0	2	6
Lions	3	3	27
Sonics/Grizzlies	0	1	3
		Drought:	-25
		Lost Teams:	-11
		Total:	0

I’ve got nothing to say about sports in British Columbia, but I can’t say enough about the region’s beauty.

34. Indianapolis

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Cubs	0	0	0
Blackhawks	0	1	3
Bears	1	0	11
Pacers	0	1	3
		Drought:	-25
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	-8

The Colts are on the verge of greatness, but must figure out a way to leapfrog the Pats.

35. Seattle

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Mariners	0	0	0
Canucks	0	2	6
Seahawks	0	0	0
Sonics	0	1	3
		Drought:	-25
		Lost Teams:	0
		Total:	-16

Despite the Mariner's record for most wins in a season, the town has no titles, not a one. Its neighbor to the south isn't much better; the Trail Blazers have reached the NBA Finals twice, but have no titles to show for it, either.

36. Kansas City

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Royals	1	1	14
Chiefs	0	0	0
Kings	0	0	0
		Drought:	-19
		Lost Teams:	-11
		Total:	-16

They’re habitually small market now, and have lost two teams to Northern California (the Kansas City A's in the sixties and the Kings in the eighties).

37. San Diego

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Padres	0	2	6
Kings or Mighty Ducks	0	1	3
Chargers	0	1	3
Clippers	0	0	0
		Drought:	-25
		Lost Teams:	-7
		Total:	-20

Of course, anyone in America's finest city has nothing to complain about, especially if they root for the Lakers.

38. Cleveland

Team	Champs	2nd	Total
Indians	0	2	6
Browns	0	0	0
Cavaliers	0	0	0
		Drought:	-25
		Lost Teams:	-7
		Total:	-26

This is a badge of honor for their fans: no titles except, of course, for the one that the Browns won after they left for Baltimore. If LeBron goes when his contract is up, Cleveland may become the all-time saddest of sad sacks.

Jeff can be reached at jeff@babblog.com.