So I'm watching the Survivor introduction, getting
ready to write this update, and it's amazing how quickly
you forget about people that were voted off early.
Anyone remember Mia?...
Let's
begin!
The
Alinta tribe (ask your doctor if Alinta is right for you)
returns from Tribal Council on Night 24. Upon return,
master strategist Chris tries to begin working some way
to break up this female alliance. His plan?
He tells them all that Sarge pulled him aside and asked
him to write down Sarge, so that he would be eliminated.
What? If anything, doesn't this make Sarge look great,
and Chris to be a loser who will sacrifice his own to keep
himself alive? Exactly how does he think this will
play out? This is all part of the 'dead grandmother'
impact that Johnny Fairplay brought from seasons back--everyone
thinks you need to be super creative to break alliance.
Not true—all you need to do is lie and get people
openly talking about how the final group will work—everyone
will realize they aren't as secure as they think...
The
next morning, Scout gets up early and approaches the men.
She's concerned that she is no longer a part of the female
top 4. So she tells the men that she's going to get
Twila to work with the men, and they'll get Eliza, then
Ami. Not sure if this will work, as the group of 8
would be split 4-4, which won't do anyone any good.
We
get tree mail very early on in the show. Twila reads
aloud—it involves the pig, and some obstacle course.
Jeff
Probst Fashion Update (JPFU): 3 pocket shirt, brown;
Survivor hat; sleeves rolled up past his elbows.
They welcome the pig with a buff (available at CBS.com now!),
and begin to discuss the challenge. It is an obstacle
course, with one member attached to a rope the entire time.
The other three members must get them through all five stages
of the obstacle course. Teams are randomly divided,
and it looks like this—Eliza, Chad, Chris, and Ami
against Twila, Scout, Leann, and Julie. Could these
possibly me more lopsided teams?
And
the reward? The winning foursome gets hosted by an
actual tribe that lives on the island, where they will experience
a tribal ceremony and major feast. The tribe will
get to bring the pig as a celebratory offering.
The
challenge begins, and let's just say that Julie and Eliza
are in major pain. They are the two members that are
all tied up as their teammates try to get them through each
of the obstacles. The obstacles basically involve
having everyone grab the women and throw them under, through,
or over a series of obstacles. Basically, it is a
way to show off an incredible amount of skin for these two
women. And these teams were “randomly”
selected? Please. We see much more of Eliza
than the FCC is likely comfortable with (she had numerous
'wardrobe malfunctions'). Of the two, Julie has clearly
had less work done—if Eliza makes it very far, she
could possibly beat Heidi for the all time 'plastic surgery
that looks horrible after losing 35 pounds' Survivor
record.
The
challenge continues; Julie almost loses her bathing suit
several times, and the more athletic group of the men, Ami,
and Eliza wins by a decent margin. A saddened Julie
starts to cry at the end of the challenge, physically and
mentally drained after working so hard. Jeff offers
to console her back in his tent.
Commercial
Break #1:
Pretty
good week in professional sports, huh?
My
prediction for the most-played out line of this week:
“At least Ron Artest will have plenty of time to promote
his rap album.”
And
not to go on a rant here, but the Terrell Owens/Desperate
Housewives thing is totally overblown. It's comical
how hypocritical the NFL is. On Sundays, while watching
14 games in one afternoon, I see roughly 450 Levitra commercials,
or commercials about drinking beer, or commercials about
hooking up with twins. On the field, of course, you've
got guys like Leonard Little, who has not been suspended
for a 2nd DUI (on his first DUI, he killed two people, but
got off from serving any serious jail time). I at
least give some props to the NBA for it's punishments—don't
mess with David Stern under any circumstance.
And
we're back!!
The
winning group of four travels to the back country along
with their pig, which decides to go to the bathroom in the
middle of the flight. Fun times. The group is
met by tons of people from the village, and there is general
confusion of two worlds coming together. They present
the pig to the tribal chief, who then presents the group
of four with their own pig (the latter of which looked extremely
close to death). The tribe begins to perform a traditional
dance, by stomping and singing. Ami tries to do an
impression of this and fails miserably. The group
then gets to experience a bowl of Kava. Eliza describes
it as 'mud, mixed with vodka and water.' Eliza's mouth
immediately starts to go numb. Ami is confused by
this drink, as it is not offered at Starbucks; and Chad,
well, Chad is absolutely trashed. He starts to spin
and hallucinate. Unfortunately, there is not much
comedy here—just a man who looks like he is about
to pass out. The tribe members take him to a hut where
he can rest; the remaining three head to the 'feast', which
is anything but. The meat is very rubbery.
The
village children then start to sing a number of songs that
they had practiced for the visit from the Americans.
A cool moment, and with that, we head to commercial.
Commercial
Break #2:
Thanks
to Pete, who helped me realize that the house I'm buying
actually has some history. Yep, I lived there 12 years
ago. I don't know what is worse—me living in
a place where some very bad things happened, or me not remembering
I lived there. Those two things are definitely linked.
For those of you who get this, we're in escrow on Cow House
2. Yikes!
And
we're back!
Meanwhile,
over at Alinta, Mark Burnett has asked the weather to bring
havoc to the tribe. Scout works hard to keep the fire
alive; Leann is beside herself. Normalcy returns the
morning of Day 26. Everything is wet—pillows,
blankets, etc. Somehow, Scout concludes that this
is the perfect opportunity to get rid of Eliza (she justifies
it by the need to keep the men around for a little longer).
This is actually a very strong strategy by Scout—if
she can get more than one woman to vote for Eliza. If
she does pull it off, she is in control (at 4-3, she gets
rid of Ami, Leann, and Julie, leaving the two men, herself,
and Twila).
The
winning four return to the tribe, and the mood is less than
stellar. Ami can tell that something is going on—Julie
would not make eye contact with Ami. Scout informs
Chris and Chad that the move is to get rid of Eliza, then
Ami. Chris is giddy that the Alliance is breaking
down, and that they'll have an advantage. Chris starts
shouting something about the camera about women—something
about a sensitive side opening a back door or something,
but I just ignored him.
Immunity
Challenge
JPFU:
2 pocket (gasp!) shirt, navy blue; fancy sunglasses (and
has he ever not had the welcome pose with his hands on his
hips?) Maybe I'm spending a little too much time with
TiVo on pause here staring at Jeff...
The
challenge is as follows—climb up to a log, which you
need to hold on to by any way possible (wrap your legs around
it, try to find a groove in the log and stand up, etc.).
Last person standing wins. With a light rain falling,
the challenge begins. These are the great challenges
where Jeff gets to do commentary on things like, “Julie,
looks like you're in a bit of pain there,” or “Chad,
is it tough having one leg?” Julie goes first,
followed by Chris, Scout, and Ami. Twila employs the
“eat the log” strategy, as her teeth are biting
a rope on the log to hold on. I'm not sure this is
endorsed by the American Dental Association. Eliza,
and Leann go next, and with Twila shouting at Chad to “go
down!”, Chad falls, giving Twila, and her hot one-piece,
immunity.
Commercial
Break #3:
Tuesday's
Scrubs was quite possibly the best one ever.
If you aren't watching this, shame on you.
And
we're back!
Scout
continues to rally the troops, but now must deal with Ami,
and that is not going well. By the way, Leann and
Ami both wear glasses. (I've always wondered--do the
producers provide things like saline solution, mirrors,
etc.? Is it weird that I wonder these things?)
Ami is worried about keeping the men around--she should
be much more worried about Scout trying to form a group
to eventually get rid of her. The talk continues,
and while Scout sticks to her guns to get rid of Eliza,
Twila isn't as sold. Twila realizes that the vote
would be 4-4, and she doesn't want to go home 'by choosing
a rock' (the infamous Pasqual event of Survivor 4—aka,
the lamest Survivor moment ever). Twila doesn't
like Ami's attitude about the whole thing, but at least
for now, it doesn't seem that it will matter.
Tribal
Council:
We
get the first episode of “What do they look like?”
events, as Sarge—showered and shaved—appears
in a bright orange shirt.
Jeff
tries to conjure up as much trouble as possible—asking
about the Alliance breaking down, the men maybe being an
asset to the game, etc. And with that, we go to the
votes:
First
is for Eliza, as is the second. But the deck has not
been shuffled. The next five votes are for Chad, and
his torch is gone! Jeff leaves the group with a few
parting words—something that loosely translates into,
“Alright, which one of you women will use Chris to
get where you need to?”
Next
time on Survivor (a Thanksgiving episode!):
Chris
finally does what he needs to—he sells out Scout and
Twila about their idea for the 4-4 vote, hoping to bring
chaos to the group.
See
you next week!
Rick
can be reached at rick@babblog.com.
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