The Voices of Reason: 15 Minutes of Fame

The Voices of Reason: 15 Minutes of Fame
by Various Authors

Andy Warhol once noted that everyone, at some point, will be famous for 15 minutes. Unfortunately, he didn't leave us any guidance on what to do to those who unjustly exceed that limit. This week, the Voices identify those who are the biggest culprits of being famous for too long.

Question: Who has most overstayed their welcome regarding their fifteen minutes of fame?

Jeff Lewis—I would like to revoke George Will's fame, and if it is impossible to keep him out of political punditry, I at least would hope to keep him away from America's pastime. It's not a terribly mature sentiment, but I just don't like seeing that man and his bow tie. There are bigger fish that I'd like to see go away, but that's a different question for another day.

Bob Jensen—There are many people who deserve to be on this list and some are more obvious than others. William Hung, for example, became famous for his blatant lack of talent; hell I know all kinds of people with zero talent, and can include myself in that group. Why can't I sing terribly and make some cash doing it? Trust me when I say that I have no problem with the first part.

Then there are the people that might not be as obvious. I think that it shows a lot of bravery for Ashley Simpson to make a return visit to SNL. But I have to ask myself, what the hell was she doing there in the first place? Was William Hung unavailable?

In the final analysis though, I really find it impossible to believe that Keanu Reeves is still famous, or ever was. I might be a bit jaded on this one, as I hadthe opportunity to meet Mr. Reeves, while working as a bartender in college. I actually had the opportunity to meet several celebrities, and found most of them to be very cool (Lou Ferrigno is surprisingly extremely funny) with two exceptions. Susan Sarandon
was an absolute bitch, though that does not make her untalented. Keanu had less personality than a saltine cracker and seemed, to me, to be dumber than a sack of hammers. Perhaps I should retract what I said about him becoming famous. In retrospect he was probably the perfect person to play Bill or Ted, whichever one he played. But, one should not call it acting.

Ian Wigley—Quite definitely the prime candidate for character who outstayed his welcome the most is George W. Bush. I hate to state the glaringly obvious, but Dubya is a worthless, useless, thick, good-for-nothing warmonger. The hell that man has created over his term of residency has had such phenomenal reverberations all over the modern world. I don't think anyone has outstayed their 15 minutes more than this loser.

Also rans (and some of these are historical, not current, and in no particular order)...Bono, Michael Stipe, Ronald Reagan, Tony Blair, Muhammed Ali (yep, he's the greatest, and he's my idol, but he stayed in the spotlight too long; see Larry Holmes and Leon Spinks fights), Robbie Williams, Pol Pot, Saddam Hussein, Hitler, Michael Jackson...and The Rolling Stones (quit while you're on top!!).

Vance Macdonald—My wife's immediate reaction was "anyone involved in any way with reality TV," and I can't say that I disagree. And any celebutante of your choice would fit nicely here and you would get nothing but praise from me. But at the risk of pushing the bounds of this category, I am tempted to fry a slightly a meatier fish.

While I never miss an opportunity to roast Keanu, my favorite monotone hunk of wood, he does manage to do one character really well ("dude"), which is why he was surprisingly passable in Thumbsucker. So, for this week's theme, I am going to nominate Jennifer Lopez—whose entire 15 minutes should have been used up as a fly girl on In Living Color. How this woman ever landed a single acting job is truly baffling. But to then become a quasi A-lister with zero talent and that ghetto nouveau riche tramp thing is downright embarrassing (South Park nailed that one).

Even granting that it was high time for a hispanic diva, there are countless Hispanic actresses far more attractive and far more talented than J-Lo. On a related note, Ben Affleck was another consideration here, which is why Gigli has joined the list of ultimate Hollywood punchlines with the likes of Ishtar and Waterworld. (Honarable Mentions: the Olsen twins, Ashlee Simpson, and Dan Brown.)

Mark May—There are so many good candidates in entertainment and sports (hopefully someone will mention Tonya Harding, whose very name makes me want to scratch my fingernails on a chalkboard). But my nominees for people who have most overstayed their 15 minutes of fame are three overblown, annoying political celebrities—Rush Limbaugh, Michael Moore and Jesse Jackson.

Rush is nearing 20 years of masquerading his pointed, acerbic brand of entertainment as political commentary. Get outta the limelight, you pill-popping hack.

Michael Moore deserved all of the scorn and ridicule he received in Team America last year. He started as a "citizen journalist" with his documentary Roger and Me. I appreciate the point he tried to make that the auto workers and residents of Flint had suffered, but I have come to conclude that his version of journalism is no more valid than that of Limbaugh. He baits conservatives the same way others bait liberals. And I suspect that he cares as much about his own prosperity as Roger Smith cared about his. I wish that were not the case because I sympathize with his various premises about gun violence, cronyism in Washington, etc. Please, let's trade Michael Moore for a real journalist, like Bill Moyers.

As for Jesse Jackson, I remember when he first came to national prominence to promote Stay In School, which was a great message delivered passionately. But now he has morphed into a caricature of a leader of the African-American community. Just look at the way people roll their eyeballs when they hear a news report, "The Reverend Jesse Jackson is in Los Angeles today to lead a protest on <fill in the blanks>." Does the man do anything without a press release or a TV camera nearby? If the media ignores him, will he just wither up and go away? Can we please try it and see what happens?

Martell—When I first posed this question, I didn' t have anyone in mind. But after reading the above responses, I had to agree with Vance that "reality TV" could not be ignored. And so my nominee for the category is none other than Jeff Probst. The person who should have been nothing more than the answer to a trivia question has somehow remained in the spotlight now for over five years. And the end is nowhere in sight...

To submit a topic for The Voices of Reason, or to be added to the VoR Shout Out List, send an e-mail to martell@babblog.com.